The Love of Wedding Speeches

What is the obsession and why is it still essential?

Why Speeches?

A speech is roughly known as “the expression of or the ability to express thoughts and feelings by articulate sounds.” Although that sounds like a good standard explanation, I do have another definition I often associate with the word “speech.” A speech is a combination of words and phrases that together serve a purpose or greater motive. The background behind a speech can range from political ones aimed to promote a campaign, personal ones for reminiscing, or even business ones designed to motivate a team. Each of these speeches serve a different purpose and I’m going to focus on one that reflects my everyday life. By meeting and conversing with hundreds of brides every month, I have learned that there is one important speech we often overlook: the wedding speeches. Simply put, they are the words that bring the whole wedding together by incorporating aspects of a couple’s past, present, and future — all in a lighthearted and humorous context.

Step One: Humor

Christopher Paloni once said, “People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn’t.” This is a perfect representation of what a good wedding speech should look like — embarrassing and funny. It is so important to keep the speeches funny, not only does it ensure everyone will be listening but chances are they will remember your words for days.

In this speech, the bride’s brother says, “For a while there I thought you might even surpass me as the favorite child but hoping to regain that one now that you’re no longer a Martin.” (1:00)

He makes light of the fact that she’s leaving and no longer associates with the last name Martin, which leaves the crowd in laughter.

There’s another speech, where the best man starts off by saying, “For those of you that don’t know me, you probably met the groom for the first time today as well.” (1:03)

He immediately makes his presence and importance known in the groom’s life, and it immediately allows you to reflect on their close friendship. There’s definitely a good time and a bad time to crack a joke, but it’s safe to say a wedding is the perfect time to keep things on the funny side.

Step Two: Storytelling

Wedding speeches also need to include a good dose of stories from the past, as well as great storytelling. The embarrassing mishaps, individual struggles, and past achievements give the most amount of background into the bride or groom’s individual lives.

In this toast, made by the maid of honor, she reflects on how, “Before Corey, Kelsey had her ups and downs, but now she’s pretty much constantly happy.” (1:12)

She hints at a difficult life, but in a humorous tone which promises a greater future.

There’s another speech, where the best man talks about their past and says, “We were both neighbor kids that came from single boy families.” (2:41)

He makes sure to give everyone a crash course on what it was like to grow up with the groom. It’s hard to know everything about a couple in just a few minutes, but the good storytellers will be able to give you an insight on all the important details and events — enough so that you will be left feeling like a part of their story.

Step 3: Credibility

There is a small detail in wedding speeches that is important to establish and that’s the speaker’s personal connection to the bride or groom. This is essential to create credibility and trust with the audience.

In this particular speech, the bride’s sister starts off by saying, “I would like to thank my side of the family for being time.” (0:16)

You immediately know that she’s an important part of the family and her bluntness will allow her to be transparent and open with everyone in the room.

There’s another speech where the maid of honor creates credibility by starting off with, “I thought the most nerve-wracking part of my job as maid of honor was going to be this speech, but managing Tamara’s veil was definitely…” (0:09)

I love that she doesn’t hold back and immediately dives into the struggles of dealing with Tamara as a bride. While there are so many people that can potentially speak at a couple’s wedding, there is a special impact on choosing the ones that are truly close to you and your own story — everything they say will be true and come straight from the heart.

The Bridal World

Weddings are difficult, planning one even more so. I mean people literally get paid thousands to do it for you. Take it from someone in the industry, every detail matters: the dress, makeup, venue, flowers, guests, food, etc. More-so, it doesn’t matter how many people are planning the wedding, the bottom line is the bride will still stress. Period. But time after time, a small detail that many overlook but come to cherish on the day, has been the speeches. It is so important for everyone to just take a second, breathe, and take in the event. After the bustle of wedding planning and the actual ceremony, this time is usually the first time the couple — most importantly the bride takes a second to relax. It’s a breath of fresh air listening to people reflect on your life and journey — thus often resulting in tears and laughter (or a mixture of both). After hearing it a couple hundred times, I can confidently say that yes the speeches are important! Enough that brides should definitely think twice or maybe three times before giving someone a chance to speak at their wedding.